Blindsided

My intention wasn't really to make "pun" of anything, but the title just happened to be the first word I thought of when I decided to write about this.

I received some upsetting news at my routine eye exam Tuesday.  I've long known my vision was deteriorating, but I assumed it was another toll my advancing age was taking on me.  For almost their entire lives, any time my grandkids thrust some tiny object in front of my face I've reminded them that I'm "blind" and can't begin to see it without my glasses.  But when I learned there is a problem with one of my retinas, the fear of losing my sight, even if only in one eye, became very real to me.

There are so many things I want to do in life.  With the exception of sleeping, all the others are best done with good (or at least adequate) vision.  How can I beat my husband at tennis if I can't see the ball?  I missed the entire ski season this year because of my recovering ankle; will my family ski without me from now on?  And I already have trouble crafting due to my weak vision.  (Well, that and a lack of talent and creativity--even perfect eyesight can't solve that problem.) 

I haven't yet been told the potential outcome of my condition, and frankly I was too afraid to ask.  What little I can find about it online doesn't make me feel all warm and fuzzy.  At the moment all I've been told is that it could resolve on its own, or I might need to see a retinal specialist.  For what I'm not sure, but in my anxiety-driven mind I can imagine all kinds of unpleasant scenarios.  I'm trying not to worry, but that really isn't in my genetic makeup. So I'll sit back and relax until my follow-up visit in two months.  Yeah...sure.

Over Before It Started

For me, summer has ended before it even began.  My granddaughter had taken the dogs outside to poop on my pool deck when she noticed something crawling around in the mulch.  From inside I could hear her screaming, but about what I couldn't tell.  As I ran to the door, naively ready to rush outside to her rescue, I saw my husband standing over something with a deadly weapon.  Unaware of the danger I would be facing, I opened the door to see what had happened.  "It's a snake", he said, "but not a dangerous kind."  They're all dangerous!  Just the sight of one could kill me! 

"Should I let it go?"  he asked.  Does this man,  my spouse of 28 years, know me at all?  "Off with his head!" I shouted from my throne (the highest chair I could find).  And just like that, he chopped the creature in half.  My hero!

So it's back indoors for me.  See you again after the first snowfall.

The aftermath. 
(You didn't think I'd have a picture of the actual creature, did you?  I don't do snake photography.)



The weapon so deftly wielded by my husband



Eat Your Heart Out...

...because you aren't getting my cake.

Sure, I don't need it.  But I'm counting on it to chase away these blues.  Until I step on the scales tomorrow.

Another Year and He's Still Here

He's managed to stick it out another year.  My poor husband has put up with me for 28 years now.  I don't make it easy.  And the past few years have been especially difficult.  More accurately, I've been especially difficult over the past few years.  I wasn't much better before.  I guess he took those vows seriously.  God bless him, he really is the best earthly thing that ever happened to me.

For all he's had to endure, I made him this card.  Not the best deal he ever made.

Now I realize just how appropriate the sentiment is

Added "dimension" on the inside

I pulled out my Cricut Sweethearts cartridge, certain I could find an image on there for the occasion.   Being creatively challenged (to put it mildly), I still couldn't come up with an idea.  Well, at least not one I could see myself completing before our anniversary was over (yes, I waited until the last minute).  I had something else in mind when I chose the tree, but it required a lot more work than I had time for so I had to tweak my "design" (yeah, that's what we'll call it).  I did manage to find time to emboss the leaf and wood patterns on the tree in a desperate attempt to jazz it up ever-so-slightly.  And as usual, no matter how many times I practiced stamping the sentiment before actually stamping inside the card, I still managed to mess it up.  So the inside got a few layers--we'll say I added that for "dimension". 

God, in His infinite wisdom, sent the perfect man for me to spend my life with.  I can't imagine it any other way.

Just One More Visit

My mother would have turned 73 today, but she left this earth four years ago.  I wasn't ready.  But then I guess no one is ever ready to lose someone they love.

I always knew I should visit her more.  She couldn't visit me because she spent the last years of her life caring for my sister around the clock.  She would have it no other way.  First and foremost, she was a mother. 

Some nights when I'm trying to fall asleep I'll say a little prayer.  "Dear God, please send Mama down for one more visit.  There's so much I meant to say."  So far He hasn't answered me.  At least not in the way I want. 

Her life was no picnic but she was always patient and loving.  She had six children and we all felt loved.  I've always had a difficult time showing my two children how much I love them.  And patience isn't even in my vocabulary.  I wish I could ask Mama how she did it all.  I wish she could just tell me, one more time, that I was a good mother.   Most days I hear about everything I've done wrong (often it's just the voices in my head), but Mama was always on my side.  I need that now.  More than ever. 

But more than anything, I want to be her friend.  I want to tell her what a wonderful person she is.  I wish I could let her know what an inspiration she always was and continues to be.  I want to say, "I love you."

When I pray tonight, rather than asking God to send Mama back to visit me, I'll try to be selfless like she always was.  I'll just ask Him to tell her how much she is loved and that her children miss her like crazy. 

Happy birthday, Mama.

Mastering Mediocrity



I started scrapbooking for the fun of it.  Nothing more than a way to preserve memories and have fun doing it (okay, and to avoid housework).  Then I started visiting online communities where people were masters at papercrafting.  After a while I started to measure my simple creations against their works of art, and it sucked the joy right out of me.



A representation of my cardmaking skills
 (I'm even less accomplished at photography)

Then reality struck like lightning.  Sure, I enjoy scrapbooking and cardmaking.  I also enjoy jewelry making and sewing.  And I love to cook.  Well, maybe I just love to eat, and cooking gets me there.  But the point is There are lots of things I enjoy.  I can't be an expert at all of them.

The one piece of jewelry I actually completed

Completed but never worn

Is it really necessary for me to create papercrafting masterpieces that make others drool with envy?  Does every piece of jewelry I make have to sparkle with beauty and creativity?  Must every culinary endeavor result in a dish that would impress even Martha Stewart?  I've always been an underachiever anyway, so maybe I should just dip my toes into all the fun things life has to offer and learn to bask in the glow of mediocrity.



Who, Me???

I was totally shocked to discover that not only did someone read my blog, but actually gave me an award!

I am so grateful to be recognized by Lisa at http://cricutcrazylisa.blogspot.com/! 

 I was given some rules to follow in accepting this award, and since I've never been much of a rule-breaking rebel, this isn't a problem. Well, not today anyway.  I'm feeling good.  So without further ado, here we go:

Rule #1:  Link back to the person who gave you the award (see above).

Rule #2:  Share seven random things about yourself.  Here goes nothing:

1. I enjoy crafting, but in moderation (hence the shortage of actual projects on my blog).
2. I dream of living on the beach in the Caribbean.  A lot.
3. I love to cook, but no one in my house "appreciates" my style of cooking.
4. I hate housework.  Although if I was cleaning a beach house in the Caribbean, maybe it wouldn't be so bad.
5. I hate getting old.  But I'm not ready to die, so I'm learning to deal with it.
6. I often question my sanity, but as long as no one else does I guess I'm okay.
7. And finally, I'm painfully shy.  Totally nuts and painfully shy.  What a combo!

Rule #3:  Award seven recently discovered bloggers with this award:

1. http://julesscrappyspot.blogspot.com/
2. http://scrappin-times.blogspot.com/
3. http://paulacsworld.blogspot.com/
4. http://apinkrose-andreaa.blogspot.com/
5. http://girlcanscrap.blogspot.com/
6. http://queenbee3200.blogspot.com/
7. http://kassicreations.blogspot.com/

 Rule #4:  Contact these bloggers and tell them they've won the award.

So not only did Lisa help me get my day off to a "winning" start, but I get to do something nice for someone else.  Thanks again, Lisa!