Friday, November 12, 2010

Holiday Adventures

Today was fun.  I had a mammogram.

First, let me say it was a pleasure just driving there.  Don't ever schedule an appointment of any kind on a holiday. (You can't just say "screw it" and turn around when you find yourself in bumper-to-bumper traffic; you've already made the commitment.) I realize I stayed in bed a little too long this morning, but I had to check the date on my cell phone to be sure I hadn't slept straight through to Black Friday. 

In preparation of standing naked from the waist up and making chit-chat with a total stranger, I had chosen to wear an ill-fitting shirt that gaped open in all the right places. I had a few stops to make before I got to the office, and showing my goodies along the way helped lower my inhibitions.

The imaging center was packed.  Several times one of the employees apologetically announced that they were backed up and she could reschedule anyone for another day if necessary.  Just how far behind must a medical office be when they make an announcement of that kind???  I can honestly say in 52 years I don't recall a single visit to any medical professional that started at the appointed time.  To have someone apologize for the wait made me wonder if this would be an overnight visit.

The wait actually wasn't too long.  Maybe this is the one facility that understands the scheduling process.

When the technician started the procedure, she had those babies squeezed in so tight I thought I might fall to the floor from the pain, but I was pretty sure that would be impossible. We weren't going anywhere. Each time she uncranked them from the vise to change positions, the little things would slip right off and she'd have to gently nudge them back.  I'm sure it wasn't her fault; she had very little to work with.  Well, except for Big Bertha on the left.  She almost fills an A-cup. 

And then it was over.  Not too bad.  I highly recommend it to all women of a "certain age".  Just not on a holiday.

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