Well, I've Done it Now!

I'm writing this in a desperate attempt to avoid another panic attack by keeping my mind occupied. 

I won't go into the sad details of yesterday that led up to this, but it all culminated in me falling down the stairs and breaking my leg in three places.  I remember being unable to stand (yes, I'm now the old lady who's fallen and can't get up).  My seven-year-old granddaughter was the only one home with me at the time, and she's almost as fearful of everything as I am.  I'm sure she is now scarred for life.  She dialed 9-1-1 for me, then checked on me several times as I lay howling on the floor.  I'm not sure if I was in that much physical pain, but the self-pity alone was enough to keep me crying until the paramedics arrived. 

My older granddaughter was with her friends outside when the ambulance pulled into the driveway, so they all came to see what had happened.  Luckily, her friend's mother was able to stay with the girls until my husband got home, then kindly offered to watch them so my husband could meet me at the hospital.  Unfortunately, she now knows how dirty my house is, and that I had a meltdown before I fell.

I was on pain medication all day, but it's making me loopy. (Well, loopier than normal I suppose.)  I'm prone to panic attacks these days, so I decided I don't need to exacerbate the problem with pills.  So for now, I'll tolerate the pain as best I can, and pray God will get me through the night.  Tomorrow I'll see the orthopaedist.  Maybe he'll fix me all up.  Or at least prescribe something that won't mess with my mind.