Wednesday, April 14, 2010

Elective (?) Surgery

Looks like I'll be getting some ankle hardware.  (No, not an ankle monitor.  Hardware to stabilize my broken ankle.  But if my moods don't stabilize soon, the monitor could be next.)

I'm not looking forward to this.  I'm terrified of surgery.  And if I'm going to be rendered unconscious, let it be at my own hand, not an anesthesiologist's.  The very idea of having my leg ripped open and metal screwed into my bones isn't my idea of starting the summer off right.  My plan was to play a weekly game of tennis and soak up some sun on a pool float.  For some reason, the orthopedic surgeon thinks he has a better idea.

After the doctor explained why he wanted to impede my future passage through airport security, my husband asked if the metal plate he was planning to attach to my ankle would be permanent.  I thought the answer was obvious. I mean, they're screwing metal into my bone!  But much to my shock and horror, the doctor said that it all comes down to personal preference.  After at least six months, if it begins to bother the patient, there is the potential to remove the metal plate.  Are you kidding me???  I'm going to spend six to eight weeks recovering, get back to my routine, then wake up one day and say to myself, Hmmm, I'm all healed up and walking again. Now what?  I know!  I think I'll have my leg split open, screws stripped from my bones,  and start this recovery process all over again! 

If I find myself with an overwhelming urge to be anesthetized and have my soft tissue opened up, I think next time I'll just opt for a facelift.

1 comment:

  1. I don't think I have ever read a blog quite like this and laughed so hard. You'll know me as acidfree on the cricut boards and I have to say, I think you have a book in you wanting to get out...good luck with everything, and thanks for the info about the preteen years..I thought there might be something wrong with my surly 12 year old daughter-from what you say her attitude might be fairly normal! (btw, if I fell, my 7 year old son would visit me from the Wii..)