Just Breathe

Let me preface this with the following statement:  I love my granddaughters dearly.  But sometimes a woman just needs a safe place to vent.  I hope this is mine.

My husband went to the bank on Friday and brought me back a little emergency cash.  Today I gave it to my granddaughter who was going to the fair with her friend.  While this was taking place, my husband was at the orthodontist with the other granddaughter (in comparison, the cost of the fair seems like small potatoes).  And it's only Monday.

I thought at this point in my life my husband and I would be free to spend weekends taking leisurely drives through the mountains, stopping at quaint cafes for lunch or dinner.  But instead, weekends are about activities for the kids, running errands, and/or family outings at kid-friendly restaurants.  For that matter, most of our week involves driving the kids to school and extracurricular activities, helping with homework, preparing meals for picky eaters, endless cleaning (kids are nasty little creatures) and doing mountains of laundry.  Most of our money goes to the necessities of life with children.  And my husband and I rarely see each other, much less have time alone together.  I long for a simpler life.  I long for romance.  I long for a good night's sleep.

For the past 34 years it seems every resource I have goes to one child or another.  It's exhausting.  What happened to my "golden years"?  I thought I had planned better than this.  Oh wait, I did.  My youngest child hasn't lived with me in a decade since she went away to college.  Ten more years and, God willing, the youngest granddaughter will be in college (can't wait to see those bills).  Maybe then I'll catch my breath.  If I live that long.  God willing.