I just ran across an article hinting at a pick-me-up for the holiday-weary mom, which also mentioned something about moms having to "make the magic happen". I didn't read what the author had to say on the subject (in part because I'm too tired to even read these days), but it reminded me of a conversation my husband and I had earlier today.
I love Christmas. And I love my family. But I don't love the responsibility of making Christmas "happen" for my family.
It seems I've spent my entire life trying to make everyone around me happy...and failing miserably. Sometimes the harder I try, the worse the outcome. And in spite of what my children think, their happiness matters more to me than almost anything else in this life.
But it's a heavy burden to bear.
When your children are young and everything is new and shiny, there's nothing more fun than bringing the magic of Christmas alive for them. As the years pass and the kids get older, you don't really mind that they no longer want to get up before dawn to see what Santa left under the tree. And you're perfectly okay with replacing at least a few gifts with what they want most---hard, cold cash. Because, let's face it, Christmas can be stressful and exhausting.
I've been trying to make the magic happen for 38 years. That's a long, long time. Thirty eight years. That's one heck of a lot of stress. (And a lot of money---Santa doesn't come cheap.)
If I have to get old anyway (and I have), it would be nice to finally relax a little during Christmas. Maybe have time to actually enjoy the season and take time to remember why we celebrate. Take a break from "magic-making".
I still want to make my children happy. I just want to reach a point where I no longer feel that their happiness depends on me.
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