I've been in such a deep depression I can't seem to get anything done. I'm not trying to be a drama queen, but IT HAS BEEN BRUTAL. A lot of factors have played into my funk...isolation, spousal disagreements, tough financial times, menopause, and the granddaddy of them all (or should I say granddaughter)...dealing with a teenage girl.
But today I decided I won't live forever, so if I'm waiting until life gets perfect to get up off my computer chair and back away from Facebook, I'll be dead first. So I decided to thank God for the blessings He's provided for me and actually do something.
I cleaned house and did laundry over the weekend, so it sure seemed fair that I should spend this Monday doing something fun.
But first, the teenage girl decided to push my buttons.
She was home "sick" today, but all I saw was a teenager talking on the phone and playing her keyboard. The school projects that are due this week didn't seem to be getting any closer to finished. I told her to get off the keyboard and do some homework since she was apparently feeling better.
"I don't have anything due anytime soon." (I knew this wasn't true because the quarter ends in 2 days. If she has a project that isn't due until next quarter, it will be a first for me. And I'm an old lady who's been around long enough to see it all.) "Get off the keyboard and get busy with your homework!", I said a little more emphatically. To which she replied...
God's never-ending grace and mercy stopped me from committing a felony.
I try my hardest to teach the girls to be responsible and respectful. But at this point in my life, somedays I just don't have it in me to engage in battle. This past weekend was horrendous and I simply didn't have the energy left to deal with her. But I have an ace up my sleeve and she will regret her actions in a couple of days. And no, I won't need to commit a crime to get my point across. Yeah, you don't mess with me, especially when you don't have all the facts.
Anyway, now that I'm rolling down the hill toward my last few years, I decided it was time to waste some craft supplies and just have fun. I don't usually allow myself such luxuries. I won't use my iron-on vinyl because I don't have the perfect project. I can't bring myself to actually embellish a t-shirt because I'm not sure anyone will wear it. I won't make a decorative item if I don't think I have a specific use for it. And I have yet to cut a single sheet of my ever-growing collection of Graphic 45 paper. (I thought it was something to keep and admire, like a coffee table book.)
But today, with a sense of urgency only a woman approaching her 60s can understand, I broke out the iron-on vinyl. And a t-shirt. Actually, I used two t-shirts! Oh, and my forgotten I-Rock iron-on gems.
It was more fun than a barrel of monkeys.
Why didn't I do this sooner??? Sometimes it's worth using a few supplies for no other reason than to enjoy life. And enjoy life I did.
I'm still working up the courage to crack open that first pack of Graphic 45 paper. And who knows? Maybe I'll even use scissors.