Wednesday, September 22, 2010
We couldn't have been more different, Teresa and me. She was friendly and outgoing; I was ridiculously shy. She was the life of the party; I just wanted to stay home. She was extremely smart and opinionated; I was deathly afraid to speak my mind. She was my big sister and I adored her.
We were born thirteen months apart and whether she liked it or not, I was her shadow. I depended on her to help me navigate the scary world outside our front door. Frankly, I was a pest. But I'm pretty sure she loved me anyway.
Ten years ago, Teresa suffered complications after a surgical procedure and has been in a vegetative state since. I miss her like crazy. She had so much to offer the world and I feel that we were all cheated. I've awakened many nights after dreaming that she miraculously recovered, only to face the reality that it will almost certainly never happen. And the sadness washes over me once again. I want so much to have a conversation with her. She always made me feel that I could do anything.
Yesterday was her birthday. I wish I could have picked up the phone and called her like I did so many years ago. Sometimes a girl just needs her big sister.