Pileup

It has just all become a bit too much. Can I catch my breath? Please? Does it really have to be one pile on top of another on top of another on top of another...???

And the worst part is nobody understands...or seems to try.  No matter how I try to explain exactly why I can't keep going like this, it just becomes another "rant" by the crazy old lady.

Forty years. On top of the first 19, which weren't exactly a walk in a suburban park.

What other job requires their workers to give heart, mind and soul for 24 hours a day, 7 days a week, 365 days a year...for forty years??? No vacation, no days off, no pay. And seemingly...no retirement.

My pastor, who I'm sure works very hard and is under great pressure, enjoys many spiritual retreats throughout the year. He also has several associate pastors along with a bevy of other church employees who take some of the burden off him. He even took a sabbatical a couple of years ago where he traveled extensively for a few months. I don't begrudge him one moment of it because too much responsibility for too long is too much.

I haven't had a single day off in forty years. Oh sure, my husband and I have taken a few short trips...very few...over many, many years, but there were inevitably problems at home that found their way to us before the "vacation" was over. I've even come home to a few "burglaries" and assorted other fiascoes.

Every time I think God will get me through this and I can build up strength before the next pile heads my way, I find myself suffocating under the weight of something new.

I hate feeling this way. I love my family. I wish I had boundless energy...physical, emotional and spiritual. But my batteries never get recharged. I'm literally running on empty.

Where do I go from here? Where does one go when the pressure mounts but there is no release? Why can't those around look at their own contributions to the unbearable stress and be helpful for a change, or at least not judge? Why am I expected to be Supermom, but treated as if I'm worthless and have no right to live some aspect of my life as I choose?

Where the hell is common sense, kindness and personal accountability? Yeah, I need a break. And I fear the only one I'll get will come in the form of a breakdown.

At least when that day comes they'll have to find another place to put their pile.

Graduation Box Card

***Apologies upfront for the poor lighting. I'm still working on my papercrafting skills; once I've mastered those I'll work on my photography. You might want to take a seat while you wait.***

This graduation box card was made for a special girl using my Cricut Explore. (I did hand cut the box base using a template I found on the internet.)

The beauty of using the Cricut Explore machine along with the Design Space software is that I can easily search for the perfect images and utilize several cartridges with ease (which I did with this card). Here's the list of images and phrases I used:

Girl graduate - Paper Dolls Teen Scene

Owl - Recess

Graduation cap - Recess

Diploma - Recess

Congratulations - Lyrical Letters

Way to Go! - 3 Birds on Parade

You Did It! - Cake Basics

2016 - ? (Sorry, I added that last minute and didn't save the info, nor did my aging brain retain it for an entire year)

The other details I added were googly eyes for the owl, a tassel braided from thread and attached to the cap with a brad, and a few thin wires I coiled and added as festive filler.

Thanks for visiting!