I started a new blog so I could write uplifting words that would hopefully inspire others.
I'm not there yet.
Today I crave a fresh start. Desperately. It isn't that I don't have faith in God and the fact that He is, and always has been, in control. The problem is that I live in a world filled with sinful, selfish people. And God never promised us an easy life under these circumstances. All He promised was an eternity with Him in Heaven if we accept Jesus as our Lord and Savior.
I'm not sure I can wait much longer.
Life is filled with hardships. This isn't a foreign concept to me. But what I'm having trouble dealing with is others who inflict their selfish choices on me, causing me unnecessary stress and struggles.
Can't anyone around me grow up and do what's right???
I'm not a control freak, as I've been accused of being. I'm just a mom/grandmom who is sick and tired of dealing with selfishness and stupidity. I'm exhausted from struggling for decades to work hard and do the right thing so I can finally reach my goals in life, only to have those around me live for instant gratification, then dump the consequences of their selfish choices on top of my well-laid plans. And usually the thanks I get for picking up the pieces is to be told it's all my fault anyway.
In four years, when I'm well into my sixties, the youngest grand/child will turn eighteen. I love my children and grandchildren, but when I'm no longer legally responsible for any of them I will have no qualms with saying a hearty "Goodbye!" to anyone who tries to point the finger at me as the cause of their problems. I did the best I could for those who were entrusted to me, but God gave every last one of us free will and I can't be expected to deal with the fallout from everyone who exercised theirs. Believe it or not, I've never been a "control freak" and I couldn't be in control of the entire world even if I were.
Grow up and do what's right, or bear the burden of your own consequences. I can't fix you and I refuse to go down trying.