This weekend, I cried. But they were tears of joy. Every single one.
We'll start with the smallest moments of happiness and work up to the biggest.
The "smallest" moment wasn't really small at all. It's just that it involved my tiny little grandchildren. (Don't be fooled--they might be small in stature, but they occupy a huge place in my heart.) The joy came not only in that I would get to spend a few hours with them, but also in knowing that they actually wanted to see me. Well, mostly it was my tiny little granddaughter, a mini version of her mama, who was excited to see her Nana. But since I've raised four other girls who quite frequently can't stand the sight of me (and often feel the need to express those feelings), you can't imagine the joy I feel in having one who doesn't yet hate me. And since I won't be raising her, there's a real possibility that she might actually love me forever.
I'll take a "small" victory any day.
The reason I was able to see my youngest granddaughter and grandson was because we were all attending my niece's wedding on Saturday. My niece is such a beautiful, kind person, and I was so happy to see her marry the love of her life. He seems like a fine young man, and although I don't know him very well, I can clearly see that he makes her happy. And that makes me happy. And even though this marriage seemed to happen in a whirlwind, I know from my own personal experience that when God sends you the right person, you just know. I hope she and her husband will have at least as many years together as my husband and I have had, and I pray they will all be very happy ones. Even though I cried yesterday, they were tears of absolute joy.
And this morning in church I stood beside my younger grand/daughter as she was baptized to show her faith in Jesus and her willingness to follow Him as the Lord of her life. I (mostly) choked back my tears (13-year-old girls are extremely embarrassed by sobbing grand/mothers), but the joy I felt was overwhelming. Both grand/daughters have now committed their lives to following Jesus, and I can clearly see exactly why I had to sacrifice my "golden years".
It wasn't really a sacrifice at all. It was a gift from God. These truly are my golden years.