Sunday, July 31, 2011

I've Fallen and Nobody's Here to Help Me Up!

Every day I see the same commercial while I'm trying to relax with a little Judge Judy or Judge Joe Brown, and it bothers me.   The ad I'm talking about is for one of those "I've fallen and can't get up" alert systems for people who live alone.

Now, I don't live alone (only in my dreams), but I can imagine the horror of being injured, or just too damned tired to get up, and needing assistance that isn't coming.  In my life (the real one), I live with my husband and two granddaughters.  I often wonder what would happen if I fell (oh wait, that already happened) and no one came to check on me (again, already happened).  I usually figure if I can just hang on until the next mealtime, somebody will come to see why the hell there isn't any food on the table.

So back to the commercial:  The lady states she lives alone and rarely has visitors.  Recently she fell and couldn't get to a phone to seek help.   She goes on to say that as she lay there for eight hours (eight hours!), she couldn't help thinking of her kids and grandkids having to go on without her. 

If I find myself on the floor alone for eight hours, I'm thinking things like: Where the hell is everybody???,  and Nobody gives a damn what happens to me!!!  I'm definitely not having delusional thoughts about how difficult life will be for my family, who are never around when I need them.

I'm a realist.  I live with the assurance that if I fall, drown or have a heart attack, everybody will go on just fine without me.  At least until dinnertime.


  1. Mom, I love you!!! You are so funny. At least you can have a sense of humor in this dismal world. Your posts are so funny and clever, and they really make my day. You really could have a writing career (if you had time!). Keep the good stuff coming! I love you so much.

  2. You are to funny!!!
    How you explained it is how it use to be. My sweetie or my boys would come looking for me, they have all 3 of them and found me passed out.
    A year ago now I passed out and hit my head and laid there for about 2 1/2 hours before I woke up. Ouch!!
    Ended up in the hospital for 4 days....
    Your Daughter is would make a great writer!!!